Broken Sheldon
by Hellen Lou
Summary: Something big has happened while Penny has been away. It must be big for Dr. Sheldon Cooper to have left with out a word and moved back to Texas. Can Penny help fix it or has Sheldon finally been broken beyond repair.
1. Chapter 1

Broken Sheldon

Something momentum has happened whilst Penny has been away; Dr. Sheldon Cooper has changed his whole routine by leaving with out a word back to Texas. Can she fix it or has Sheldon finally been broken beyond repair.

* * *

Chapter one

Homecoming……

Despite her years living there, Penny still had to pinch herself hard when her home came into view. Seven years in 4B hadn't been what she had planned on when she hopped on the bus and ventured out on her own but unlike the starry eyed girl who left the safety of her hometown she didn't mind so much anymore.

Yes she was still a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory.

Yes she was still fighting her way to be an actress.

Yes Penny Blossoms had yet to boom.

But she had four of the most sweetest best friends a girl could ask for, well two if you discounted Howard's creepy attempts to flirt with her and Sheldon's usual cold and calculating manners, and she loved them all dearly.

In fact she had missed them during her three week vacation and though she did enjoy herself finally relaxing she wouldn't stop her self from thinking about her guys.

Wondering if Leonard had finally over come his shyness and asked the new sales girl at the comic book shop out.

Wondering if Howard had been slapped, arrested or received another restraining order (despite his claims that it was a misunderstanding).

Wondering if Raj had gotten over his weird inability to speak to her beyond a squeak or drinking copious amount of alcohol.

But what brought a smile to her face was wondering what Sheldon had done after she left him with a list of everything he had to do while she was away.

It made her giggle even then thinking of it.

1. Don't enter 4B unless there is a fire.

2. Get laid.

3. Don't research 'get laid'

4. Be nice once a day and twice on Sunday.

Punishment: sing soft kitty and repress any twitches at the name 'Moonpie'.

By the time the cab stopped, was paid for and unloaded Penny had to force herself to stop from bounding up the stairs and crashing back into her boys lives.

Sunday afternoon would be a safe bet to have them all there as it had become one of Penny's rules that they all met up on Sunday to just hang out.

It took a year for Sheldon to stop twitching over the new routine.

By the time she dragged the bag up the stairs and was torn between 4A and 4B she knew it was a lost battle to think of waiting to see them and so abandoning her bags by the door she fished out her key and strolled in to the guys apartment with a smile that was beaming bright enough to light up the moon in her mind.

Raj sat with his mouth open ready to reply to something Howard had said but his eyes spotted her and she laughed at the squeak emitted.

Howard and Leonard both swivelled to see what had made their usually vocal friend squeak and both beamed just as brightly as Penny upon spotting her.

"Your home early" Leonard declared with a shocked tone while Raj snapped his mouth shut and faintly blushed while Howard was torn between now being shocked, happy and creepy.

Penny just hoped she could stop feeling so happy to see him to put him in his place before creepy set in.

"Well don't I get a hug" Penny demanded folding her arms inwards and propping her hands on her hips before the boys glanced at each other and scrambled to their feet. Penny smirked as Leonard and Howard struggled to get to her first so she by passed them and strode towards Raj and hugged him tightly gaining another squeak.

Pulling back she couldn't help but ruffle his hair then spun round to be engulfed by Leonard who had won the battle. Squeezing him back just as hard Penny finally felt at home.

With these men children she had found something she only thought she could have from being a famous actress and having several good looking men in her life.

With a sigh she felt contented, so much so she didn't push Howard hard when he tried to lower his hand during their hug.

"Where's Sheldon" Penny questioned noticing the feeling of being home had dimmed a little with the absent of the tallest member of the group.

The biggest man child of the group Penny had developed a soft spot for him that none of the others could ever hold.

When most would glare at him for his honest remarks Penny just accepted it, translated and responded in a way Sheldon could understand.

When most would just leave him to his Sheldon's way Penny would pull him up on it and force him to cut the crap out.

It wasn't perfect but it was the best way they worked and she wouldn't change it for anything.

It wasn't until the silence became tangible that Penny understood that no one had answered her question and were all looking… sheepish. Guilty. Ashamed.

She couldn't tell because they all ducked their heads and found something about their feet more interesting.

"Oh he isn't sulking in his room again. What happened now and who got banished" Penny questioned half hearted with a roll of her eyes.

She was still working on getting Sheldon to forget his three strikes rule. Feeling slightly uneasy about the still thickening silence she ignored the boys obvious avoidance and skipped to Sheldon's room.

She was secretly hoping that Sheldon would have missed her enough to for go any notion of lecturing her on going into his room.

"Sheldon" Penny called in a sing song voice as she skipped to stop in front of Sheldon's door and without even bothering to knock she skipped straight in and was hit by a wall of thin air.

It took her several seconds to understand what she was seeing or more like what she wasn't seeing.

The bed she had woken Sheldon up in on several occasions laid bare.

_Washing his sheets_

……

_it's not Saturday and Saturday was laundry day. _

Penny blinked again and the image of what she expected to see was replaced by what was actually in front of her.

His closet was empty expect for a few clothes hangers. His desk was completely devoid of notes and his laptop. His glowing fish was gone.

His posters and his mint condition action figures were gone.

Everything that had ever been linked to Sheldon Cooper PhD was gone.

And this bare room held testimony to that.

"He's gone" Leonard's voice trembled behind her but Penny barely registered it.

Sheldon's just…. She couldn't finish that because everything she knew about Sheldon didn't help her make sense of this.

"Penny" Leonard dared to touch her arm but it felt like he had slapped her because Penny jerked away and spun to glare accusingly at the three men crowded in the door way.

"What kind of joke is this? Did you have an argument? Did he move out? Is he at my place" Penny knew she was hysterical but she reasoned that after living opposite Sheldon and Leonard for seven years something had to rub off on her.

Sheldon's terror of change was it.

"Penny" Leonard attempted to say something but when Penny jerked away from his hand he ducked back into himself and she found her glare thrown to Howard and Raj who both avoided her gaze.

"Tell me you guys are joking! If Sheldon pulled you in to help with one of his pranks I'll hurt you all" Penny wouldn't but the threat made some sense in all this.

Sheldon would spring out of somewhere and declare he was still smarter then her.

She would glare at him refuse to speak to him for three days and then he would apologise and she would have her Sheldon back again.

The tears in her eyes as the three men before her looked away told her that there was a rather low chance of that happening.

"He's gone… Sheldon left five days after you went on holiday" Howard offered refusing to look at Penny who now felt the tears sliding down her cheeks but refused to acknowledge them.

"Where" Penny demanded causing each man to jump and contiune to look anywhere she wasn't.

"We… we…" Leonard stuttered before swallowing hard and if Penny wasn't melting down with information overload she would have been proud when he met her eyes firmly and forced himself to be a man.

"We just don't know; he just left when we were at work" Leonard admitted before Penny finally acknowledged her tears and gave a sob.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Homecoming… sucks

* * *

It took nearly an hour to get the whole story out with Penny torn between crying and bellowing at the guys.

Even Raj attempted to explain but he squeaked too many times when Penny glared at him.

"So he just left without any word; just left work one morning came home and packed everything up and left" Penny had been repeating things every time the guys explained and received sullen nods as answers.

"Didn't you think to tell me" Penny growled as they all looked at her blankly before shaking their heads again.

"You were on holiday" Howard exclaimed but Penny growled at him before ignoring him.

"We spoke near enough every day didn't you think I _would _need to know something like this. Sheldon doesn't just leave without a word and he doesn't leave without someone driving him" Penny questioned as Leonard nodded but then shrugged.

"We just assumed he was having a break down" Howard chirped and if it wasn't for Leonard sitting between them Penny would have thrown herself at him and smacked him once for being a creep and then again for Sheldon.

"He's been stressed for a little while with the noble prize" "He's been stressing about that since he was fourteen" Penny snapped now wondering if she should hit Leonard.

"What aren't you guys getting here. Sheldon Cooper doesn't do change, it's something he has to think long and hard about. Sheldon Cooper doesn't just think to himself that he will take off because he wants to. Sheldon Cooper is Sheldon Cooper" Penny declared her voice growing higher and higher with each word.

It was several moments before any of the other guys dared to look up.

"Have you called his mother" Penny demanded as Leonard nodded eagerly to appease her anger.

"Several times but no one answers, we've left several messages and I have even attempted to contact Missy" Leonard declared giving Howard a pointed glare.

"Have you called Sheldon" Penny demanded as each man nodded but said nothing.

And that was all that was said about it for the rest of the hour Penny sat there in 4A.

On Sheldon's couch.

In his spot.

Feeling like there was a big nothing in the shape of Sheldon in her heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Big Ol'Five

* * *

It took three days of going through her life on autopilot for Penny to snap and decide she wasn't a big old five for nothing.

Sure this was different from actually making the first move on a guy but with Sheldon anything she did could be counted as a big five.

Everything from becoming his friend to being allowed to sit closer to him then when she first claimed her spot next to him seven years ago.

It happened in a blur at the time but after she had time to understand she knew it wasn't nothing as fast paced as that.

She had been flicking through channels without seeing what was going on until the familiar opening to Star Trek appeared and her fingers stilled.

By the time Kirk finished his opening line she was in tears.

By the time Spock finished with his science she was sobbing.

By the time credits were rolling she couldn't do anything but dry sob and clench her fist.

If Sheldon thought he could just cut them out of his life without a word he could think again. She didn't have the smarts like him and she didn't always understand their world but she understood her world and Sheldon Cooper was damn well apart of it.

She wasn't sure how she would track him down but she knew she was going to. By the time she was yelling at Leonard, Howard and Raj that they had to help she was sure the voice telling her that they had already tried sounded like Sheldon.

"But we have no idea where he went Penny" Leonard tried to reason no longer shocked at seeing Penny sit in Sheldon's spot and not fear his friend twitching at the sight.

"Then _get _one" Penny growled already to stand her ground. She missed fighting and using her no nonsense attitude in a verbal assault.

Sadly Leonard, Howard nor Raj were up to the challenge like Sheldon usually was and it gave Penny all the more reason to find him.

It was another thing to add to the 'Sheldon can think again if I have to live with out it' list.

"Texas" if it wasn't for the fact that Penny was receiving something akin to an answer that shocked her it would have been the fact that it was Raj who said it.

He ducked his eyes but didn't blush nor flee. He was stepping forward.

"Texas? He went to Texas" Penny demanded and was ready to shake Raj for more information if he dared to flee.

"I don't know. He just kept muttering about Texas and Missy and Lilly when I bumped into him but he acted like he didn't see me and just walked straight to his office" Raj expanded while Howard and Leonard stared at him in shock.

"Are you sure" Penny demanded as Raj frowned but nodded. Penny almost burst at the thought of finally knocking some sense into Sheldon and springing to her feet she raced to hug Raj who could only squeak.

When she released him and sprinted to the door she had a thought and turned to stare at Raj who looked like he might pass out.

"Raj are you drunk" Penny asked almost smirking when Raj shook his head but refused to look at her.

If she wasn't on a mission she would have beamed at him.

She was ready by the next day at nine fifty two am when Leonard gave the correct address of Sheldon's home town, his mother's house address and contact numbers.

She hugged him tightly for that because she knew he wouldn't do it in any other situation.

Getting Mother Cooper involved in their fights was something that flared up Leonard's survival instincts.

A train, two buses and two cabs (she had to get out after the first cab driver told her about hell and how she will end up there) she found herself standing there on the porch of the Cooper family home.

At least their second home after Penny discovered Missy and Sheldon's other sister had forced him to buy a Christmas gift with them.

The whole decision that she was a big ol' five and nothing would stop her going after what she wanted seemed now a little daunting.

Sheldon would lecture her and then would glare at her in the hopes of making her explode and glaring just as hard when she didn't.

But it was all worth it to know he was ok.

And it hit her… holy crap on a cracker hard.

Would she have done this if Leonard, Raj or Howard had just up and left one day.

Leonard probably.

Raj only if it was something big.

Howard no; because it would probably be her threatening to kill him and mean it.

She had travelled all this way on what Sheldon would call a 'whim' all because he might be having a break down.

Howard was right or half right; Sheldon was weird, socially awkward and condescending. He baulk at the thought of change and those twitches could grow so intense that Penny was sure he might collapse in spasm when she threatened to drink out of the carton of milk he refused her.

If anyone out of their group was going to have a break down it would be _Sheldon_.

That bothered her sure but it was the fact that he didn't even say anything to her or Leonard bothered her hell of a lot more.

Even when he ejected Raj from his social circle of approved friends he spoke to him. If Sheldon had given them up as his friends he would want them all to understand just why.

"Hello" a firm Texas drawl emitted somewhere belong Penny and she jerked back, blushing wildly at her lost time in her musing.

Still trying to stop her heart from beating so loudly in her ears she looked down to find a woman younger then her by at least four years sitting in a wheelchair.

Her dark glossy hair was tied back and her black dress didn't make her pale skin look deathly pale. If anything it made it look amazing.

It was the eyes that made Penny understand she was looking at another Cooper family member; they were the same shade and size as Sheldon's.

Penny was thankful when the woman wheeled herself forward because she didn't want to think about she knew the shade and size of Sheldon's eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear the door open and then you… well you scared me" Penny breathed as the woman nodded and smiled faintly as though it wasn't unusual for people to be scared by her.

"New tyres" the woman admitted waving a delicate hand towards her wheels making Penny smiled slightly before tucking her hair behind her ear.

"If you're here about Ma your a week late" the woman stated sadly and Penny felt a lump rise in her throat.

It hadn't struck her to think about Sheldon's family. If something happened she just assumed Sheldon would take the information in and analyse it.

"Actually I haven't come to see Mrs Cooper but how is she anyway" Penny questioned honestly hoping everything was ok because even though she only spoke to Mrs. Cooper during her fights with Sheldon she held a lot of respect for the woman.

It was the sniffle that made Penny freeze and her throat to constrict, unshed tears now formed in the woman's eyes and she darted them down.

"I take it you haven't heard" the woman admitted before she stole a deep but wavering breath and Penny was startled at the determination she saw there.

Just like Sheldon.

"My name is Cassy Cooper" Cassy offered as Penny smiled at her trying to be bright but the fear was rolling around her stomach.

"Sheldon's sister, he said he had another one besides Missy but he never told me your name" Penny bubbled knowing she should shut up but didn't have someone around to glare at her.

A half twitch came to Cassy's lips for a half a second and Penny wondered if Cassy wasn't Sheldon's real twin instead of Missy.

"Shelly has always been weird about me" Cassy informed before tilting her head back towards the wheel chair.

"He's always using big words and that big brain of his but the truth is Shelly has always been an over protective older brother when it comes to me" Cassy admitted as Penny softened at the thought of Sheldon trying to stand up to anyone.

"Speaking of Shelly is he here" Penny questioned as Cassy's face fell and sadness ebbed from her confirming something bad had happened.

"Right; you don't know. You must be one of Shelly's friends Ma always spoke about… I just thought he would have told you… but then again this has been hard…" Cassy stopped before taking another deep breath and pulling back into the house holding the door open for Penny.

"What happened" Penny questioned stepping forward ready to half scoop out the Cooper house hold.

"There was an accident" Cassy declared causing Penny to freeze half in half out of the doorway.

"Did" Penny could almost form the words that wanted to rush out but she knew she didn't have to ask anything more when Cassy lowered her eyes and didn't brush away the tear streaking down her cheek.

"Ma died during the accident and Missy hasn't woken up" Cassy muttered softly with tears dripping into her lap while Penny reeled from the new information.

It all fit into place.

Sheldon wasn't having a break down.

Sheldon had already been broken.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Soft Kitty

* * *

Penny couldn't help blinking rapidly as she tried to digest the information she had received. Cassy sat quietly in her chair watching with a mixture of curiosity that Sheldon held and sympathy.

"I'm sorry" Penny couldn't help but repeat again before shaking her head.

It happened so long ago now it seems.

She was stepping on to the plane to Greece.

Missy and Mrs. Cooper made plans to go out for dinner.

She was enjoying her fifth day in Greece.

Missy and Mrs. Cooper were no doubt enjoying themselves.

She was falling into a deep sleep.

Missy and Mrs. Cooper couldn't avoid the sleeping driver at the wheel.

She was fresh and ready for more sun and sea.

Cassy Cooper broke her brother's heart and possibly his sanity by telling him Mrs. Cooper didn't survive.

She was already writing her third set of postcards to the boys.

Sheldon was already gone.

"Did- did the driver live" Penny questioned in a muted voice not daring to look at Cassy.

The sigh did her in and Penny forced her self to look at Cassy who no longer looked four years younger then Penny but rather forty years older.

"No; like my mother he died during the accident. Missy only survived because she was driving" Cassy stated with no emotion that Penny felt her heart explode.

If her mother and sister had been killed by someone who probably knew they shouldn't be driving but still did Penny would have wanted them to suffer.

"And Missy is still" Penny couldn't finish it, couldn't say the words because she didn't want them to be real.

"In a coma yes, though I know she is no longer responding to anything around her I just can't force myself to pull… I mean how can I when she's my _sister"_ Cassy wasn't stating that she was asking Penny if it was right and Penny had no idea as to how to respond to her.

Instead she moved down the coach and wrapped her arms around the youngest Cooper.

That was when Cassy broke down.

Penny felt it all, the fear of finding out about the accident.

Speeding to the hospital only to find out she was too late.

The heart ache at hearing about her sister's condition.

The lonely sadness of planning the funeral.

Dealing with Sheldon.

Baring the guilt of someone who just wants to hold on to the person they love.

"Oh honey" Penny soothed as the sobs lessened and within a few minutes Cassy managed to turn her heart breaking sobs into tiny whimpers.

"I'm sorry" Cassy whispered but Penny shook her head and forced Cassy to look at her giving her 'special' smile reserved for the guys when they felt they did something wrong.

"Think nothing of it besides I bet you haven't had a good cry since all of this" Penny declared as Cassy smiled watery at her before nodding slightly.

"Shelly is hard at the best of times but since this… he hasn't been the same" Cassy admitted before she shook her head and pushed her self back.

"I need to clean my self up" she ordered before Penny nodded and smiled slightly at her.

"You still look good for it" Penny offered as Cassy let out a breathy giggle. Penny watched as Cassy disappeared knowing the other woman was going to cry again but didn't want some stranger to bare the brunt of it.

Penny was just about to start collecting herself when she heard movement from upstairs and her head snapped around when she was sure she could hear the low tones of someone singing.

There was no reasonable answer to why she felt the need to find out who it was but the need drove her to stand and debate before she walked out into the passage way and climb the stairs.

The upstairs was completely dark expect for the soft dim glow of a night light emitted from the door furthest away from the top step.

Careful of each step she took the overwhelming feeling of this being wrong made her put each foot in front of the other with some force.

But within a blink of her eyes she was stood face to face with a dark wooded door which stood partly open.

"_soft kitty, warm kitty. Little ball of fur" _Penny was torn between shock and a warm tender feeling at hearing after so many weeks of not Sheldon's voice. It was low and almost whispered but it was still Sheldon's voice.

And though Penny felt the tears prickle up in her eyes she couldn't fault him for having the slightest twinge of sadness and a broken boy tone to it.

Sheldon didn't deal with change well and losing his mother and sister was something that would send him over the top.

"_happy kitty, sleepy kitty. Purr purr purr" _Penny gripped the door handle when she heard Sheldon's voice break on the second purr and nothing he could throw at her about his personal space would stop her from hugging him.

Pushing the door open she saw that it was Mrs. Cooper's room, the lights were off but a soft lamp had been set up. On the bed directly in front of the door sat Sheldon looking as broken as he sounded slumped forward holding his arms to him.

Penny felt every part of her heart break in that one moment.

The sadness of Sheldon slumped shoulders.

The five o'clock shadow.

The defeated look on his face.

The lost look to his shimmering eyes.

She was pretty sure that her love for him knew no boundaries then. She loved him in all of his quirky ways and she had never felt so much emotional pain in her life then watching him live through his.

"_Softy Kitty, warm kitty. Little ball of fur" _Sheldon began to rock back and forth, his eyes now looking down at his lap.

"Sheldon" she knew she couldn't startle him so she kept her voice low and soothing just how Mrs. Cooper had told her once when Sheldon had decided she was up to something when in fact she just wanted him to help her.

Sheldon jerked and she saw the twitch before he turned his head towards her and she felt her heart breaking all over again seeing the broken and lost look in his eyes.

Her breath was heavy as she watched him waiting for something to make her snap away from his stare and hug him.

Then suddenly he was standing and with one hand was pushing against the door glaring at her as though she wasn't one of his friend and the only person who wasn't as half as smart as him who succeeded in getting to know him.

"You can't be in here" he ordered firmly before slamming the door shut in her face leaving Penny to stand gapping at the door.

It wasn't the shock of being thrown out of the room that made Penny blink several times.

It was the fact that Sheldon Cooper, with a masters and two PhD's had a baby in his arms.

It was the fact that Sheldon Cooper the most robotic person had the most determined look in his eyes to protect that child.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

Lilly

* * *

Cassy sighed once more and Penny was sure if she could she would be pacing.

"I should have warned you I guessed" Cassy mumbled most to herself, she had been waiting at the bottom of the stairs when Penny staggered down.

She had heard Sheldon slamming the door in her face and came to find out what had happened.

"Sheldon… baby… Sheldon" Penny stuttered arching her eyebrows up at Cassy in the hopes she could explain why she had seen Sheldon holding a small living child to him.

"Let me explain a few things first. Despite how Shelly is he has always been the best brother" Cassy explained as Penny frowned at her.

"I know how Missy and Shelly act" Cassy caught her breath but forced her self to move on.

"Shelly was never over comforting but he did his best. I would listen to Missy crying about some boy who made her cry and then the next day Shelly had some how managed to get beaten up by the same bully and Missy would beat the creep up" Cassy half smiled and Penny noticed the tears didn't well up straight away.

"He sang me soft kitty when I was sick once - outside my door of course- and when the doctors finally told us that I would never walk again Shelly spent a whole summer tying to prove them wrong until ma forced him to get some sleep and burnt all his notes" Cassy didn't hold back the sob and Penny held her hand.

"In his own way Shelly has always been an overprotective older brother and I loved him for it; he never told me something just because it might make me feel better. He never lied and said I might walk again and he never once said something to me without it being honest" Cassy admitted as Penny nodded in understandment and agreement.

"When Lilly came along he was distinct but we all saw the same thing" "Lilly?" Penny questioned and Cassy frowned before nodding.

"Shelly never told you about her either did he" Cassy almost clucked her tongue only a long suffering sibling of Sheldon Cooper could pull off.

"Lilly is Missy's little girl… that's one of the reasons ma and Missy were out that night. Lilly is four months old and after a rather bad relationship with the father, who even now doesn't want anything to do with Lilly, I convinced them to go out" Cassy explained as Penny slumped back into the couch and took it all in.

Sheldon was a uncle and never told anyone.

"I was shocked when Shelly turned up at the hospital and then I realised this went far beyond Shelly's usual behaviour. Ma's death hit him hard really hard but it was seeing Missy that really broke him. He didn't even twitch; all he did was stand there and stare at her for twenty minutes before he sat down. He was like that for about three days before we forced him home with me. The moment he came home here he didn't let Lilly out of his sight. Just kept writing his crazy notes and looking after Lilly" Cassy admitted before she sighed and shook her head.

"Lilly only seems to calm down now when Shelly looks after her; he takes her to the hospital and brings her home. I drugged him last week just so he would sleep" Cassy admitted causing Penny to stare at her before looking down.

"I know Shelly and Missy don't seem really close but I guess he's always relied on having his twin around and the thought that she's gone… well I just can't help him much anymore, he just sits down here or at the hospital or in ma's room. He came to the funeral but refused to talk to anyone nor let anyone hold Lilly" Cassy declared gaining a shocked look from Penny.

"I know; OCD Shelly has something new to freak out over" Cassy tried to joke but the way she chewed her lower lip made Penny understand that she was more worried about this new Sheldon she couldn't understand to the one who was weird and strange.

Before Penny can question any more of this new Sheldon footsteps are heard from the stairs and both women crane their necks to see a desolate Sheldon stiffly walking down the steps.

He froze upon seeing Penny and she didn't know wither to smile or cry when he twitched.

She waits for him to say it is his spot but instead he moves quietly into the room and places a baby monitor by a chair and folds in on himself as he sits down.

"Hello Penny" Sheldon greeted in a desolate tone refusing to hold her gaze and Penny didn't mind because he was talking to her.

"Hey sweetie" Penny greeted moving down the couch to sit closer to him, noting that he flinched but other then that didn't move.

"I can see that you have enjoyed vacation and you subtly refreshed and relaxed" Sheldon commented but even his words lacked the basic passion Sheldon held for observation.

"Yeah I did" Penny offered half heartedly before looking at Cassy who shrugged and looked at her brother.

"Shelly is Lilly sleeping" Cassy asked ignoring the way Sheldon twitched and jerked his body as though Cassy had touched him.

"Yes though it took an additional three minutes and forty five seconds for Lilly to enter her predetermined REM cycle and two renditions of softy kitty" Sheldon declared sounding only a little put out by the fact causing Penny to smile slightly knowing her Sheldon was still there.

"She only gets like that when your wound up Shelly, she's picking up on your tension. You slept two days ago" Cassy exclaimed causing Sheldon to stiffen and send his sister an accusing glare.

"I will not be forced into a drug influenced REM cycle again Cassy" Sheldon declared sounding panicked and the twitch in his left eye began to jerk.

"You needed to sleep Shelly" Cassy argued glaring back at her brother who twitched but ducked his head under the gaze of his sisters firm look.

"I have important matters to care for and my research" "SHELLY" Cassy all but bellowed at her older brother making him stiffen and dart his eyes around like some trapped animal.

"How about you get some sleep Cassy and I'll make sure Sheldon goes up to bed; I'll even make him some warm milk" Penny offered jumping when Cassy snapped her glare to the other woman.

Cassy saw something in Penny and her expression softened before the other woman nodded showing how truly tired she was.

"Fine, the spare bedroom is ready for you" Cassy offered before she sent one final firm look to her brother and wheeled her self from the room.

The minutes that passed seem overwhelming to Penny as she shifted in her seat several times, opening and closing her mouth in the hopes of saying something profound. Comforting. Meaningful.

But each time a word danced on her tongue she discarded it because she was not only dealing with Sheldon but because it all sounded so wrong.

"Honey" Penny felt sticking to a softer tone and more soothing words would help her but the way Sheldon shifted and refused to look up at her she knew it was going to take time and work.

And the briefest wave of warmth and twisting of knots made Penny wonder why she didn't mind it at all.

The lost look in his eyes.

The broken expression he wore.

The slump of shoulders that were always set with confidence reminded her.

Penny would do anything for Sheldon because she cared about him.

"Honey, sweetie do you want to talk about it" Penny questioned turning now so she could easily reach out and offering him a comforting touch.

Sheldon shifted and considered her words, his brow working in times with his thoughts. Licking his lips several times Penny hoped Sheldon might just spill it all but upon seeing the blank look on his face Penny knew Sheldon wasn't that easy.

And she didn't care because she was still here for him.

"I'm aware that it is considered an optional social conduct to talk about ones 'Feelings'" Penny bit back the smirk when Sheldon used his fingers to quote mark the word.

"And I know you are considered the one to acknowledge and force these social interactions but right now I feel no inclination to talk about anything. Unless I have misunderstood, which is has a low probability, your request for me to talk about it as you may very well mean a number of conversation topics" Sheldon droning scientific tone washed over Penny and the tears that had been lurking since she discovered his departure threatened to spill once more.

She had missed him and his quirky ways and she feared they might have been broken.

"No honey; I meant did you want to talk about what happened with your mother and sister. But your right it is a optional social conduct so you don't need to talk at all, but this isn't really one of those types of social conducts it just something us humans do Sheldon. We talk to our friends and take comfort from them" Penny tried to explain in a way that felt she was talking to a five year old.

Sheldon considered her words and for a moment she wondered if she hadn't gotten through to him after all. But then he shook his head and ducked his eyes low.

"I do not require any comfort" Sheldon declared as Penny stared at him in shock for several seconds before shaking her head clear.

"Sheldon your mom died and your sister is in a coma it's ok to be upset" Penny exclaimed as Sheldon frowned and considered her words but still refused to look at her.

"You misunderstood me Penny, as you have a habit of doing, I assure the situation has received an deserved amount of emotional turmoil from myself but I do not need comfort as I am no longer upset" Sheldon explained while his eyes took a glazed look to them that made Penny shake her head at him.

She knew he was dim on most basic human feelings and understanding but even he couldn't be this... this... robotic .

"Sheldon your mother died" Penny exclaimed in a tone she wished was so loud but at the moment she felt like screaming in his face just to get a response.

"Yes Penny I am aware of this" Sheldon retorted in a tone that almost bordered anger, what she was attempting to figure out was wither it was at her or the facts.

"Missy is in a coma" Penny declared in a lower tone watching as Sheldon's face twitched and his hands darted to his lap and his fingers curled inwards.

"Yes Penny" he said through gritted teeth.

"Sheldon sweetie it's ok, you know to feel something about it" Penny admitted as Sheldon twitched again and his knuckles turned whiter.

"I am aware of what this current situation dictates of social behaviour but I must remind you that as a homo novus I rise above the social requirement to display emotions and feelings" Sheldon recited to a disbelieving Penny.

"DAMNIT SHELDON YOUR MOTHER WAS KILLED AND YOUR SISTER IS IN A COMA" she hadn't meant to be so loud nor so cold but the way he described himself didn't make her feel like comforting him anymore. She just wanted something that was human from him to add up to the way he was acting now.

"I assume by the way you have raised your voice and used a slang word for displeasure that I have some way upset the social balance" Sheldon commented waiting for Penny to translate what he said before slumping down.

"Oh honey... I'm sorry... it's just... I'm not upset or mad with you I'm frustrated. I want you to understand that even though you are some highly evolved human it's still possible to show emotion. Sheldon you hate change and this is a big change" Penny soothed as Sheldon furrowed his brow again and pushed out his lower lip.

"Indeed I'm uneased by change I have had enough time to adapt myself to the situation" Sheldon admitted before Penny groaned and ran a hand through her hair.

"Sheldon sweetie, upstairs you were different... you were clinging to Lilly" "WE DON'T TALK ABOUT LILLY" Sheldon's sharp tone and glare made Penny straighten up and hope she had a way through to Sheldon.

"Moonpie... I know about Lilly and it's ok to talk about her because she's your niece" Penny assured watching as Sheldon twitched again and mouthed the words 'don't talk' before ducking his chin into his chest.

"We don't talk about Lilly" Sheldon said in a whisper but Penny sighed and within a blink of an eye she moved forward an knelt down in Sheldon's personal space.

She held firmed when Sheldon twitched and darted his eyes around the room looking anywhere Penny wasn't.

"Sheldon what your going through I get it ok... your worried something bad will happen to Lilly and your trying to protect her" Penny declared causing Sheldon to twitch at both her words and the thought of Lilly being hurt.

"That is impossible as I have calculated all the variables and I'm assured that no harm will befall Lilly" Sheldon squeaked as Penny bit back the tears.

"I know you won't let anything happen but it's ok to worry something might" Penny assured as Sheldon began shaking his head. When he shook his head to the point of it hurting Penny snapped her hands up and forced him to look at her.

"Sheldon... sweetie... moonpie... I know your scared about change, you just don't deal with it that's why you left without a word and why you have been locked up here but I can assure you it is perfectly fine to feel like this. It doesn't make you any less. You will never be anything less to me" Penny declared firmly causing Sheldon to stare at her blankly not even showing his need to consider her words.

"But... but I must prove myself to more evolved then average humans because of Lilly" Sheldon stated firmly as Penny frowned up at him.

"Why now honey" Penny whispered watching as Sheldon lowered his eyes and saw the redness there.

"Because I must prove stronger and better if I'm to care for Lilly until I am able to successfully bring Missy back" Sheldon whispered causing Penny to shake her head.

"Care for Lilly... do you mean you have to care for Lilly" Penny asked feeling the slight nod from Sheldon instead of seeing it.

"oh" Penny whispered before feeling the tears well up again and she couldn't stop herself from stroking Sheldon's rough cheek.

"Honey Missy might not wake up" Penny declared in a breaking voice trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"But she has too... my research is proving very fruitful, though I'm assured the doctors overseeing Missy care and conditions are themselves very well educated, I doubt they have the access and passion to dedicate their attention and time to any problem" Sheldon declared slightly shocked that Penny didn't believe him.

"Sheldon... Sheldon" Penny shook her head gaining a confused look from Sheldon.

"Why are you repeating my name, have you some illness that you have not reported. Are you feeling unwell" Sheldon question attempting to pull back from Penny's hands but she refused to let go.

"Sheldon listen to me" Penny ordered and would have smiled when Sheldon stilled and obeyed her.

"Missy was hurt in a car accident. She suffered terrible brain damage and the only thing right now keeping her alive is a machine. I know you want to fix this Sheldon but not even you can because it's just something you can't" Penny said slowly and with as much tenderness she could find within her self.

"But I must; an infant and later a child shows improved chances of being a productive member of the human race by being raised by a biological parent" Sheldon whispered despite the fact he was shivering under Penny's hands.

"I am unable to prove Lilly with the correct amount of emotional attachment demanded for a productive environment for her growth" Sheldon declared desperation dripping from his tone.

"I think your doing ok so far" Penny assured as Sheldon shook his head and his eyes taking a far away look to them.

"But I can not care for Lilly in the same manner as Missy would... I am unable to provide the correct amount of love and tender feelings like Missy does... I am unable to cope with this... Missy was" Sheldon clenched his jaw tightly at his use of the past tense.

"Missy is more adversed in these matters then I am" Sheldon exclaimed before taking a wavering breath and Penny felt his jaw clench again and saw his lip tremble.

"Missy... Missy... Missy wouldn't let me... she wouldn't" Sheldon stuttered with a broken tone before Penny felt a sob build up in her chest.

Ignoring the fact that he would later lecture her about personal space and germs and what ever else went through his OCD mind Penny wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly.

She would have smiled when Sheldon drew a shaky breath against her shoulder while trying slightly to pull back.

She would have smiled when Sheldon placed his hands on her arms but didn't push her away.

She would have smiled when she felt the tear drops on her shoulder.

But she couldn't because she wasn't the only one crying freely.

Sheldon Cooper was sobbing in her arms and she wanted nothing more then to fix him.

* * *

I just wanted to say sorry if I messed up Sheldon's character in anyway but it's hard to write for him but I tried my best to stick true to the character. Thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

Fixing the un fixable

* * *

She was sure she heard the saying somewhere but for the life of her she couldn't figure out if it was before or after she befriended the two awkward men across from her apartment and later the silent but sweet man and the creepy one.

But watching Sheldon sleeping for what must be the first time in three weeks with out the help of drugs she didn't care.

_Once something is broken you can never fix it. Just mend it until it can be passable as whole. _

Watching each shaky breath Sheldon took whilst laying like some poor knock off of Dracula she didn't know if it comforted her or scared her.

She couldn't think about a world where Sheldon wasn't the same man she had come to know and love so dearly. But she couldn't think of him of someone who would ever go back to the unfeeling human he always was.

The pale sunlight thrown out across Texas as dawn struggled filter through the window but despite the hours travelling and the two hours spent just holding Sheldon until he declared he was tired Penny couldn't sleep.

She wanted to pass it off as just being happy to find Sheldon again but the truth was laying in the small bassinet by the bed.

Penny glanced at the sleeping baby once more and marvelled at how much she looked like Missy and a little like Sheldon.

Her dark hair though thin was curly and the baby hadn't stirred when Penny ran her fingers over it. Her chubby cheeks held that smell only babies could produce and were warm to the touch. It wasn't until Penny heard a dog barking in the distance that she understood she had been watching Lilly for nearly an hour and a half.

Lilly Mel Cooper.

Penny spotted the pictures of Missy holding the baby proudly and knew that Lilly was loved by her mother.

Penny spotted the pictures of Mrs. Cooper and Cassy cooing over the baby and knew that Lilly was cherished by her family.

And remembering how possessively Sheldon had clung to her while singing soft kitty Penny knew Lilly was one child that would never doubt how protected she would be.

With a sigh Penny tore her gaze from the pictures and stepped forward to clean up and some how make sense of all of this away from Sheldon when she was greeted by two slate blue eyes staring up at her from the bassinet.

Penny gasped at the fact that Lilly was a quite child, she hadn't made a peek upon waking.

"Hello there sugar plumb" Penny cooed in a low tone to avoid waking Sheldon up. Though she had missed him she hadn't missed his screams of danger, danger upon being startled awake.

Lilly scrunched her forehead up and clenched her fists by her side causing Penny to smile at the sight but after a few seconds of this Penny worried the baby was unwell and quickly plucked her from the bassinet and rocked her.

Penny was surprised to find Lilly almost settled and looking happy in her arms making Penny note that Lilly was a really quite baby.

"Oh honey did you want to be held" Penny questioned not resisting the urge to put her pinky in the little girls grasp and smile when Lilly tugged on it.

"I'm sorry I'm not uncle Shelly but I hope I'll do" Penny whispered happily surprised when Lilly sighed and closed her eyes in contentment.

She was sure that babies didn't understand anything at this age but holy heaven she was sure that Lilly did. Flicking her eyes towards the still sleeping Sheldon Penny smirked at the thought that any Cooper kid might be smart at this age.

Smiling more brightly then she felt she had in the last week she walked over to the rocking chair and lowered her self into it trying hard not to wake the baby.

"You've got quiet an uncle there baby girl; you won't always understand him but he means well" Penny cooed to the baby smiling wider when Lilly opened her eyes and stared up at her with the Cooper determination.

"I don't always understand him but I know enough to know he _does _love you; well in his Sheldon-y way he does and that's a good thing" Penny promised relaxing with the comfortable weight against her chest.

The pair sat in silence for several moments before Penny rocked back and forth watching in rapture as Lilly pulled what seemed to be a thousand different facial expressions before closing her eyes.

"I'm sorry you had such a crappy start in life but with Sheldon and Cassy looking out for you I bet they will make up for it" Penny soothed leaning down to kiss Lilly's soft head before leaning back just smiling down at the infant.

"Penny?" Sheldon's uncertain tone floated over to Penny who turned slightly to see the tall physicist looking at her from his seated spot on the bed. Though he looked beyond her Penny knew he had seen her holding Lilly.

"Morning Moonpie, hope we didn't wake you but we were having a girly chat" Penny declared as Sheldon frowned and looked at her before shaking his head.

"I highly doubt the chances of your conversations being fulfilling, as it has been proven that no infant is able to correctly see further then their nose let alone understand and formulate responses demanded of the topic at hand" Sheldon commented dryly as he rose from the bed and stood awkwardly causing Penny to roll her eyes and grin up at him.

"It's a figure of speech honey" Penny admitted rising to her feet while Sheldon absorb her words, analysed them and stored them away in his big beautiful mind.

"I understand; you was simply talking gibberish to Lilly" Sheldon offered looking hopeful that he had once again understood the foreign notion of social norm.

"I wasn't talking gibberish Sheldon; I was talking to Lilly about different things I might talk to anyone else about" Penny explained as Sheldon nodded once more clasping his hands behind his back trying to understand it all.

it made Penny's heart swell that Sheldon was still the sweet naïve whackadoodle she knew and loved.

"Another social conduct I will not be able to grasp easily" Sheldon mummered to himself before he looked at Lilly and Penny would bet a months pay check that he actually softened in that moment.

"Sorry you want to hold her" Penny muttered as she rose to her feet and crossed the room to offer Lilly to Sheldon. He rose his arms to take hold of the precious cargo but quickly dropped them and his head.

"She is resting and I have discovered that when disturbed whilst sleeping Lilly finds it hard to settle into a normal pattern and becomes agitated" Sheldon declared as Penny stared at him and translated his words into something she could understand.

"Oh" was the smartest thing she could think of before looking down at Lilly and holding her a little more tightly against her chest.

She didn't know how to take that; at face value Sheldon was simply explaining something he had discovered and noted but she felt that if he really wanted to he could have taken Lilly from her without waking her and held her like he had done the night before.

She felt the tightening knot in her stomach again when she hoped that the thought that Sheldon was entrusting her with something he guarded so dearly was right. The tears shimmered their way to her eyes before she could discard the idea.

Instead she held on to it smiling a little.

"Why are you crying if you are smiling? You don't seem to be in physical pain as your facial expression shows no sign of distress, discomfort or displeasure" Sheldon questioned causing Penny to snap her head up and stare at his curious look.

"It's... I'm just tired is all Sheldon" Penny offered as Sheldon stared at her in alarm then at Lilly and Penny could hear the mental wheels turning.

"I'm not that tired Sheldon... how about we go get something to drink" Penny offered as Sheldon shifted his feet and darted his eyes around the room during his thinking and Penny couldn't help the bright smile that chased away her tears.

"That would be... acceptable" Sheldon finally agreed before he turned and walked over to the door, his nervous walk was probably due to the fact that she was holding the baby and nothing else.

And while watching him slipping on a house coat and opening the door Penny couldn't make her self understand something.

When did she start caring if Sheldon was nervous around her more then when she did something stupid like trying to invade his personal space.

When did she start caring if Sheldon looked at her and Lilly as though he was trying to piece together some puzzle.

It wasn't until her foot hit the last step and she stood staring at the back of Sheldon's head that she understood it all.

She started caring about those things when she started to care about Sheldon more then just a friend.

Holy crap on a frigging cracker.

* * *

I know I've been writing Penny loving Sheldon but I wanted it made clearer when she finally understood that she was in love with Sheldon... kinder like you all found out together.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

Drawing Equations in sugar

* * *

To say Penny was reeling from the fact that she cared about Sheldon more then a friend (she refused to call it love) was like saying the sky was up and the ground was down.

She had slumped on to a stool with Lilly clutched tightly to her watching as Sheldon moved in his calculated way around the kitchen.

She was trying to pin point the moment she actually fell in to this new like for Sheldon; it could have been from the years of knowing him.

He was one of the only four men who had stayed in her life without wanting something in return. Well Leonard and Howard both wanted a more personal relationship with her but even then she was sure they held her friendship higher then any notion of sleeping with her.

It could have been from the many nights spent sitting next to him experminting how close she could get to him without him freaking out because to her Sheldon Cooper was something that didn't happen to her.

She didn't boast her ego with the thought that every man drooled over her but she knew her looks got her enough second glances to keep her vanity happy.

Sheldon never looked at her with any hidden meaning nor try to sneak looks at her legs, breasts or ass.

Sheldon treated her like everyone else.

It could have been from the romantic free past four months in which she had spent more Friday nights with the guys then getting her self ready to seduce some random guy.

She counted the times she had been on a date over the past three years and sadly it only used up one hand to count.

It could have been from the fact that she had broken apart when she thought she would never see him again and had to track him down.

Somewhere along the line Sheldon had become so engrained in her life that she couldn't picture him not there.

When Lilly sighed in her sleep Penny settled her pinky in the girls hand and watched Sheldon without really seeing any of his movements.

She wanted to pass it off as some part of her caring nature that she wanted to fix Sheldon and the only way to do that was love him but the way her stomach knotted at the thought of the feelings leaving her when he was better made her ignore that worry.

Of course it hadn't been easy to like Sheldon more then a friend (still not love) because she was still annoyed at most of his habits but as annoying as they really should be she couldn't force herself to be that annoyed.

Falling back onto something she knew she looked at him studying him very carefully.

He wasn't like any of the guys she had ever dated expect perhaps Leonard and that was only because of their smarts.

He was tall and gangly but his arms and chest was defined. He was pale but not enough to be deathly pale. He was clean shaven most of the time but even with his stubble she found that it didn't matter because his face just held something that made her want to look at him.

She should have guessed that because she knew all of his expressions now; from his annoyed super better then anyone look to his half smiles that were rare and treasured.

She knew everything about Sheldon not because she didn't want to hear his lectures on how his clothes had to be just so or his food had to be to his standard but because she actually cared that he was happy and had an easy life.

Oh who the hell was she kidding she was in love with him and she would have ignored the fact for seven more years if it hadn't been for the near miss of losing him that made her see the fact.

She. Was. In. Love. With. Sheldon.

But it still didn't sit right within her; sure it bubbled up in her and made the warm spot in her stomach grow all the way to her heart but something staggered the process.

It wasn't because of Leonard; after the 'talk' she knew they were never going to be anything more then just friends and he understood as well.

It wasn't because of Raj and Howard.

When Sheldon put the coffee mug in front of her and she looked at him she understood what it was.

If it had taken her seven years to figure out she had fallen in love with Sheldon Cooper then it could possibly take _seventeen _years for him to come to terms with it.

Dumping some sugar into her coffee she attempted to hold on to the idea as to why she wouldn't mind waiting those long years for him but found she couldn't stop it from slipping from her mind.

"Penny" Sheldon scolded causing Penny to jerk then quickly sway Lilly in her arms hoping she hadn't woken the small girl. After watching Lilly doze in her arms Penny looked at Sheldon to find him frowning at her coffee mug.

"What" Penny squeaked ignoring the heat in her cheeks when Sheldon glanced up at her with those big blue eyes then back down at the counter.

Penny followed his gaze and saw she had dumped two spoonful of her sugar beside her mug instead of in it.

"REM cycles is important for one to function properly" Sheldon was droning on but Penny drowned him out to watch as his eyes moved as he spoke and his lips moved in time with his muted words.

Penny just watched as Sheldon shook his head and stood in his search for something to clean the counter. As Penny watched Sheldon in his movements she grabbed the spoon and started to draw equations in the sugar.

At least they were equations in her mind because as Sheldon ducked into the pantry to find a roll of kitchen towel that was up to his standard Penny glanced down and gasped at was written.

By the time Sheldon returned and cleaned the counter Penny had memorised and cleaned the equation away.

In Sheldon talk she would have to research and study this further.

She just hoped Lilly really couldn't understand what was going on around her because she didn't need a four month old Cooper baby to know what was written.

Fix Sheldon.

Love Moonpie.

Easy.

Equations in sugar was just as good as equations on a white board.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

Non optional

* * *

Penny had found a routine in Texas after nearly a week and a half staying at the Cooper house. Sheldon spent most of the day researching and caring for Lilly. The next day he would take Lilly to the hospital and returned after kicking out time.

Penny found those days to be the hardest because for all the hard work she put in to bring back Sheldon seemed for nothing when he came home and locked himself away.

Instead of weeping over the fact she focused on the happy days when she would argue with Sheldon watching with that warm feeling as he bestowed her with his many expressions.

Cassy began to smile more and cried less, the time she truly laughed at how Sheldon twitched at something Penny had said the pair stared at her in shock.

The only thing that hurt was that Sheldon didn't cry again and though she was grateful to have her Sheldon back she had tasted the human side and wanted to see more.

The biggest shock for her was how Sheldon treated Lilly; he read to her, sang to her, bathed her with Penny's help and didn't always talk in long winded speeches. But he drew the line at speaking gibberish to her.

When Penny discovered the thirty messages from the guys she knew she would have to approach Sheldon about telling them what happened and start thinking about what he was going to do.

Cassy though upset by the thought admitted she could never truly care for Lilly on her own.

Sheldon tried to argue his point but Cassy won when she pointed to her wheelchair and asked him how she was meant to chase after a toddler.

Penny loved Cassy.

It was during breakfast upon which Cassy was pulling faces for Lilly who still didn't make a peep while Sheldon shifted his focused between making breakfast and pointing out that Lilly had no understanding of what Cassy was doing while Penny watched the family with a small smile.

It wasn't easy to understand her love for him and watching Cassy pull a face at Sheldon who returned it with a glare she guess she didn't care. Sheldon could explain everything she was feeling with chemical reactions and mathematical equations but she didn't care because she felt it and after so many years of crushing on men who weren't worth the time she felt grown up.

Sheldon was still a child in many ways but he was the sweetest man when he wanted to be and he never backed down; even faced with an angry Penny and Cassy.

"We should go to the park" Penny exclaimed at the point Cassy was getting ready to put Sheldon in his place. With a blush and ducked eyes when Sheldon and Cassy stared at her.

"Sorry but I think it's time that we went out of the house for something that is you know fun" Penny stated lifting her eyes to find Cassy beaming at her while Sheldon was studying her.

"I fail to see how we will have more fun outside the confines of this house" Sheldon commented dryly already twitching.

"Sheldon it's a normal thing to do and besides it isn't good for Lilly to be cooped up all day" Penny declared as Sheldon considered her words but Cassy rolled her eyes at Penny.

"I have seen no research claiming that a child benefits from periods out side" "Sheldon" Penny growled causing the tall and lanky man to dart his eyes towards and twitch at the look on her face.

"Am I to understand that is would be considered an non optional social function" Sheldon asked with a tone that screamed he thought badly of the idea.

With a grin Penny nodded eagerly already bouncing in her seat while the cooper siblings raised identical eyebrows at her.

"God... yes it's non optional" Penny ordered as Sheldon grumbled but said nothing more while Cassy shook her head at their performance.

"You guys go ahead I've got some more legal papers to deal with" Cassy declared as Sheldon snapped his head around to her in a way that made Penny winch.

"I would be more then" "NO Shelly you and Penny are taking Lilly to the park and you will enjoy it" Cassy ordered before Sheldon's head dropped and Penny bit back the smirk.

"This is going to be so great" Penny squealed before she jumped to her feet and scooped Lilly up, racing up stairs she missed Sheldon glaring at his sister.

"Oh stop pouting Shelly or I'll tell Penny about the time I found you with lipstick on" Cassy ordered moving around the table to set the knives and forks.

"Cousin Laura invaded my personal space" Sheldon squeaked blanching at the memory with his hand darting up to his cheek as though the offending mark might still be there.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Penny didn't stop the tears of laughter from rolling down her flushed cheeks, Sheldon pushed Lilly along the path to the Cooper home with white knuckles and his twitch going into over drive.

"I fail to see the humour Penny" Sheldon snipped jerking once more as Penny scurried up the steps to open the door waiting for Sheldon to turn in a calculated way and began to pull Lilly up the stairs stopping on each one to assure himself that Lilly was ok.

"Sheldon sweetie it is funny because you were arguing with a five year old about sand castles" Penny chuckled as Sheldon reached the top step and spun to stare at her in shock.

"The structure was unsound; I was simply explaining that if he constructed the 'sand castle' with a proper mixture of water to sand it would stand for an extended period of time" Sheldon exclaimed as Penny rolled her eyes and quickly pulled Lilly in the house.

"Sheldon he was five years old" Penny retorted over her shoulder as Sheldon closed the door and ensure it was securely shut.

"Penny I was made aware of his age as his motor and reasoning functions were reflected by his inability to clearly state his displeasure at learning and destroying my structure" Sheldon declared in exhaustion while Penny sniggered pulling Lilly out of the buggy and swayed her in her arms as Sheldon had shown when removing her from one spot to another.

"From now on you sit with me when we go to the park" Penny ordered looking to Lilly with a smile when she found slate blue eyes looking up at her.

When Sheldon didn't say anything Penny looked up at him and caught her breath when she found him staring at her the same way he did when she called them friends.

"By your definition of our friendship these social outings to the park will be an activity to be schedule into a routine" Sheldon questioned as Penny softened and beamed up at him.

"Yes Sheldon this will be a routine thing" Penny agreed not pushing down that warm feeling again when Sheldon darted his eyes around before nodding his head.

"That will be acceptable as I have observed that though Lilly was unable to fully understand the events around herself the bright colours and loud noises proved interesting to her" Sheldon agreed as Penny squealed and went to hug Sheldon but stopped when Sheldon flinched. Simply patting his arm she was proud that Sheldon allowed the action.

Penny skipped into the living room knowing this was a step forward for Sheldon but the moment she saw Cassy hunched over in her chair holding a pillow tightly in her arms she stopped.

Penny swallowed hard when Cassy lifted her watery eyes up to them and she felt Sheldon stiffen by her side.

"Cassy you have been crying" Sheldon pointed out trying to understand what he was seeing but by the look Penny knew that it was going to be another big change.

"The hospital called Shelly" Cassy declared in raspy tone with tears spilling from her eyes again, Penny couldn't help the tightening reflex of her arms around Lilly who began to squirm.

"I assume it is in regards to Missy. Has her condition changed? Have the doctors decided on a new direction in treatment" Sheldon questioned as Penny bit back the demand she wanted to make of him.

She knew he wouldn't understand her when she ordered him to turn off his mind.

"Of course it's about Missy Sheldon" Cassy snapped and Penny threw her a look but seeing the frustration at having to deal with her already large burden she now had to deal with Sheldon.

"Sheldon honey let Cassy finished before you speak" Penny told him in a softer voice and she smiled at him when he nodded and understood now was not the time to analyse anything.

"I'm sorry Shelly" Cassy whispered with a sob caught in her voice and Penny felt torn between comforting Cassy and standing strong for Sheldon.

"They didn't call this morning because... dammnit" Cassy swiped at the tears before lowering her eyes leaving Penny to feel her stomach twist and Sheldon jerk a little.

"Missy's heart stopped beating early this morning; after managing to restart it they discovered that sometime during the night there was bleeding in her brain" Cassy chocked out as Penny found it hard to breath, she imagined that Sheldon would pipe up to correct Cassy but something about the situation had hit him hard.

"They said if they were able to figure it out... if they had spotted it... Shelly" Cassy cried and Penny understood the look Cassy was sending to Sheldon.

Despite having to be the grown up with Sheldon Penny could see that Cassy wanted Sheldon to be the older brother who made sure nothing hurt his sister.

But Penny knew before she even looked at Sheldon he was never going to be that brother.

"What has happened" Sheldon's clipped and low tone made Penny jump and look at him, she was used to stiff and confident Sheldon but this was beyond all that.

This wasn't even Sheldon anymore just a shell.

"I'm going to the hospital and I think you have to come with me Sheldon because the doctors said there was nothing more. The bleeding was too much... Missy's... Missy's gon" Cassy broke down in sobs before she could finished and with speed Penny couldn't follow wheeled her self out of the room.

Penny was sure that Cassy's sobs would bring the house down.

"Sheldon" Penny called softly turning to find Sheldon staring at the floor with an empty glaze. He twitched but remained staring at the ground.

"Honey we'll go together" Penny assured before Sheldon snapped his eyes up to her and frowned as though she had spouted out some nonsense.

"Go where Penny" he questioned as Penny shook her head and sighed.

"To the hospital... Lilly, you and Cassy have to say goodbye to Missy" Penny declared trying to get through to him.

"That is impossible as Missy has proven unable to acknowledge outside forces and there for is unable to respond. Besides I must remind you and Cassy as well that my research is important and I must finish it" Sheldon responded in the detached tone that made Penny swallow for another reason.

"Sheldon I know you won't understand this" "But I do understand Penny; I entrusted my sister's medical care to people who have education below par. Now I must correct this and proceed on with my research until I am able to reverse Missy's condition" Sheldon declared as Penny chewed her lip before moving forward ignoring Sheldon's flinch when she laid a hand on his arm.

"Sheldon sweetie it's time for you to understand that you can't fix this... Missy has gone now" Penny tried to reason as Sheldon stepped back and stiffened.

"But I'm Sheldon Cooper; though many things elude me such as understanding of pointless social conducts I endeavour to understand. I have yet to find a problem that I have been unable to fix. It will not do for me to start forgoing this conduct. I will fix Missy and she will wake up; Lilly will have her biological mother raising her and I will have" Sheldon cut himself off looking like a deer caught in head lights at her.

"Sheldon you have to let Missy go" Penny almost begged pushing back her own tears trying to stay strong for Sheldon.

"I can't" Sheldon whispered before something in his eyes switched off. Spinning on his heel he all but raced up the stairs leaving Penny to gasp out her sob when a door upstairs slammed shut.

Slumping down on the arm of the couch Penny couldn't catch her tears in time before her shoulders started to shake.

With a piercing cry Lilly proved she wasn't a quite baby.

The pair cried together.

For Missy the lost mother.

For Cassy the grieving sister.

For Sheldon the broken man.

* * *

This will be the last update for two weeks. Sorry but I do hope you have been enjoying it.


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